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Kate Whittaker Cousino

Joined: Dec. 6, 2011

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Re: Mercies hurt

Jun. 5 at 12:17am | see this comment in context

I have a deep and abiding fondness for Mark, whose blog I began reading almost 9 years ago when he was less acerbic and more obviously joy-filled, and whose behind-the-scenes generousity and kindness I have both benefited from and witnessed extended to others over the years. 

Mark's humility is one of his more endearing traits, and this is far from the first public mea culpa he's extended. What makes this one different (and why it is so well suited for discussion in this arena) is that Mark is, for the first time, admitting to something deeper than mere 'temper' or 'lack of restraint'. Instead he sees in himself the same temptation to reduce persons to objects, to make them a means to an end, that he has often (and rightly) criticized in others. I hope that this conversion of heart leads to commitment to some specific changes, to provide a hedge against this very common temptation and an inspiration to his readers. 

Re: Cults and co-dependency: how to detect the virus

Apr. 27 at 3:08pm | see this comment in context

Interesting! 

It's tricky to talk about these things, considering that secularists see little to no difference between any religious organization and a cult. 

I do appreciate your observation that any group, right down to the level of the family, can have these dynamics. It's  easy enough to list off dysfunctional behaviours we've seen - and of course every group and family will have some tendencies towards some dysfunction (if we think otherwise, we're really in trouble, because it's those who can't recognize their vulnerability who are most vulnerable!) 

So for those of us who are aware of these dangers, can we try to draw a picture of what genuine community might look like, what we can strive for? 

Re: God's will and ours: how they meet

Feb. 17 at 11:06pm | see this comment in context

I think the parable of the talents speaks to this - the master quite clearly leaves it in the servant's hands how to make use of the money he has given them, with complete freedom - and his only harsh words are for the frightened servant who simply hid the money and waited for the master to return with more instructions, because (like so many Christians waiting for a word from on high) he was afraid that if he acted, he would do the wrong thing, make the wrong decision. But of course (as our priest said in the homily today, in fact) refusal to act is also a choice.

Re: A conversation at the gym about obedience vs. creativity

Feb. 15 at 11:11pm | see this comment in context

The way I read it, moving beyond mere obedience is to be capable of fully living Augustine's advice to "Love, and do as you will." It's not that 'anything goes' if it's done out of love, it's that if you are immersed in love you will act rightly. Love will drive out any desire to do what is hurtful - and all sin is hurtful.

A totally different analogy on the topic of obedience and boundaries - my kids are much more free in a fenced in playground than one without a fence. Without the fence, I have to monitor them constantly and stay right on top of them - there are games they can't play (anything where a ball might bounce into traffic and tempt them to run after it) and they have to constantly be thinking about how far they are allowed to go and deciding where to stop.

We all have a much better time when the playground is fenced in - they know where the boundaries are and that frees them to be as creative as they like in their play within the boundaries. 

Re: A conversation at the gym about obedience vs. creativity

Feb. 15 at 9:22pm | see this comment in context

The analogy that comes to me off the top of my head is that it is kind of like commanding someone to speak in another language. That's just not how we learn - we learn by imitation until we have the vocabulary to start putting together our own sentences. The instructor was expecting you to do something you didn't have the 'vocabulary' for. 

After all, what are all the instructions the Church gives us but a dictionary of virtues - a vocabulary of holiness (and wholeness) that prepares us to 'put on Christ' so that we can be truly free to speak and act without fear or doubt? 

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  • Re: Two new items for my case against "unprincipled forgiveness"
  • By: Tim Cronin

  • Hi Katie, In John Milbank's "An Essay Against Secular Order" he talks about the reality of forgiveness. He says that without forgiveness being accepted and realized it does not have a true reality. Neither does forgiveness have a true reality if it is merely formal. Receiving forgiveness involves a complete realization of consciousness of egocentricity. This involves a suffering on the receipient of forgiveness. It also involves a suffering on the forgiver through the re-establishing of the bonds of the relationship. -Tim

    Jun. 13 at 3:11pm | See in context

  • Re: Mercies hurt
  • By: Samwise

  • The Eustace reference works well!

    I have heard Mark-- on the radio-- speak about Uncle Andrew too.  Together, Eustace and Uncle Andrew make for some of the most off-putting characters in Narnia, and can annoy readers to the point of wanting to imitate Edmund (of all people).

    On the radio, Mark pointed out the unrepentant nature of Uncle Andrew, exhorting listeners to  have "child-like faith' instead.  It was a good reminder that ingenuity and IQ are not all we're meant for.

    Jun. 12 at 11:42am | See in context

  • Re: The Least I Need to Do
  • By: CATHY ECHANIZ-BECK

  • Not in particular, Devra.  It's kind of fuzzy to me, too. :)  Just a general sense I had, of Ivan's feeling guilty and wanting to do better.  Ha!  I should re-read that one; it was good! 

    Jun. 11 at 11:55am | See in context

  • Re: The Least I Need to Do
  • By: Katie van Schaijik

  • I love the reminder that turning away from serious vice is "the beginning of freedom".

    The next big liberation, in my experience, is from illusions of rectitude and self-sufficiency. It's the willingness to face and absorb the truth about ourselves—especially our impotence to save ourselves, or even to live well.  

    It's painful, but definitely freeing.

    Jun. 11 at 11:53am | See in context

  • Re: The Least I Need to Do
  • By: Devra Torres

  • I'm not sure, but maybe.  Ivan Ilyich had his lists of "thou shalt not's," but they all had to do with what was and wasn't done in his social circle.   There's something like that in Anna Karenina, too, about how Vronsky stuck to his principles, which were "Never lie, except to a woman," and "Never fail to pay a debt, unless it's a gambling debt," and so on.  Crime and Punishment is pretty fuzzy in my mind, Cathy: is there some part in particular you're thinking of?

    Jun. 11 at 10:39am | See in context

  • Re: The Least I Need to Do
  • By: Marilyn Prever

  • Was it the one about the dying man who couldn't take the first step, which was to admit he was not a good man ad to ask for mercy.The Death of Ivan Ilyich or something like that?

    Jun. 11 at 9:01am | See in context

  • Re: The Least I Need to Do
  • By: CATHY ECHANIZ-BECK

  • Dev, 

    Were you thinking of Crime & Punishment by Tolstoy??

    Cathy 

    Jun. 11 at 8:26am | See in context

  • Re: Two new items for my case against "unprincipled forgiveness"
  • By: Katie van Schaijik

  • One of my favorite scenes in one of my favorite movies, On the Waterfront, is Terry and Edie's first date. Terry tells her his philosophy of life. It's every man for himself. Get the other guy before he gets you.

    She lives in a different world—a world where people are part of each other, where they care about each other, help each other, and call out the best in each other. She's asking for his help. He's drawn to her world, but finds her naive. He wants her to drop her pursuit of justice for her brother. Forget it. Move on. Enjoy life. Don't risk trouble.

    The conversation ends abruptly when he bursts out in frustration, "What do want from me, Edie?"  She replies, passionately: "Much more. Much, much, much more."

    Cardinal O'Brien sounds to me a lot like Terry. "I said I'm sorry. What more do you want?" The Vatican sound more like Evie. "Much much more."

    Much more from you and much more for you.

    Jun. 9 at 1:49pm | See in context

  • Re: It's Here!
  • By: Katie van Schaijik

  • Got it. Thanks, Devra!  Can't wait to read it.

    Jun. 7 at 8:42am | See in context

  • Re: Interview with Hannah Arendt
  • By: Katie van Schaijik

  • Rhett, I'm with you in lamenting that maddening gap between the depth and delicacy of the insight you think you have and the clunky unspecialness of what comes out when you try to put in it words.

    That's the negative experience of writing your thoughts. The positive experience is when you've struggled and struggled to say something, realized you're missing something key, and then suddenly seen what it is—something you wouldn't have seen if you hadn't made the effort to put it to paper, or screen.

    Jun. 6 at 9:44am | See in context

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