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Kate Whittaker Cousino

Joined: Dec. 6, 2011

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Re: Cults and co-dependency: how to detect the virus

Apr. 27 at 3:08pm | see this comment in context

Interesting! 

It's tricky to talk about these things, considering that secularists see little to no difference between any religious organization and a cult. 

I do appreciate your observation that any group, right down to the level of the family, can have these dynamics. It's  easy enough to list off dysfunctional behaviours we've seen - and of course every group and family will have some tendencies towards some dysfunction (if we think otherwise, we're really in trouble, because it's those who can't recognize their vulnerability who are most vulnerable!) 

So for those of us who are aware of these dangers, can we try to draw a picture of what genuine community might look like, what we can strive for? 

Re: God's will and ours: how they meet

Feb. 17 at 11:06pm | see this comment in context

I think the parable of the talents speaks to this - the master quite clearly leaves it in the servant's hands how to make use of the money he has given them, with complete freedom - and his only harsh words are for the frightened servant who simply hid the money and waited for the master to return with more instructions, because (like so many Christians waiting for a word from on high) he was afraid that if he acted, he would do the wrong thing, make the wrong decision. But of course (as our priest said in the homily today, in fact) refusal to act is also a choice.

Re: A conversation at the gym about obedience vs. creativity

Feb. 15 at 11:11pm | see this comment in context

The way I read it, moving beyond mere obedience is to be capable of fully living Augustine's advice to "Love, and do as you will." It's not that 'anything goes' if it's done out of love, it's that if you are immersed in love you will act rightly. Love will drive out any desire to do what is hurtful - and all sin is hurtful.

A totally different analogy on the topic of obedience and boundaries - my kids are much more free in a fenced in playground than one without a fence. Without the fence, I have to monitor them constantly and stay right on top of them - there are games they can't play (anything where a ball might bounce into traffic and tempt them to run after it) and they have to constantly be thinking about how far they are allowed to go and deciding where to stop.

We all have a much better time when the playground is fenced in - they know where the boundaries are and that frees them to be as creative as they like in their play within the boundaries. 

Re: A conversation at the gym about obedience vs. creativity

Feb. 15 at 9:22pm | see this comment in context

The analogy that comes to me off the top of my head is that it is kind of like commanding someone to speak in another language. That's just not how we learn - we learn by imitation until we have the vocabulary to start putting together our own sentences. The instructor was expecting you to do something you didn't have the 'vocabulary' for. 

After all, what are all the instructions the Church gives us but a dictionary of virtues - a vocabulary of holiness (and wholeness) that prepares us to 'put on Christ' so that we can be truly free to speak and act without fear or doubt? 

Re: Mental injustices an obstacle to communion

Feb. 10 at 1:28am | see this comment in context

This is a very useful distinction and term! It has helped me clarify something that I have been having a hard time with. I didn't know how to handle a situation with a person who took a whole series of (as it turned out) disastrous actions, all based on a false premise. He has been unwilling to apologize for it since he holds that his actions were correct according to his knowledge at the time.

I don't know whether an apology is exactly necessary in a case like that, where there is (likely) fairly good intentions...but this post has helped me see that the reason I still feel unsafe around this person is because of his lack of REGRET or shame over this 'mental injustice'. Instead it seems like the response is to attribute responsibility for his ill judgment to the person wronged - as though your college aquaintance's response had been to say, "well, if you hadn't done such-and-such I would never have thought that."  I wasn't taking into account that mental acts are also *moral* acts.

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