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Barbara Nicolosi

Joined: Apr. 22, 2012

Bio:

Liberally educated Jesus freak who loves the Red Sox and Emily Dickinson.  And writes movies.


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Re: Guilty of Unprincipled Forgiveness or Model Christian?

Jul. 18 at 2:59pm | see this comment in context

(Part II)

It was a lie.  The awful thing was awful and there is nothing you can do with awful things except accept that your life and framework have been inexorable, irrevocably, and probably unfairly altered.  You can't move past the evil that has been inflicted on you, you have to learn to incorporate it into your life which now is going to be different, at least for a while.  Maybe for decades.

When I do pray for my attacker now, I pray that he the next time he assaults someone he gets arrested.  I pray that he is prevented some how from doing any more evil. I can't forgive him because he has not asked my forgiveness.  If he did ask my forgiveness, like the Church in confession, I would need to be sure that there was real contrition present, and then, my faith would oblige me to promise the man that I wish him no harm.  Although I do wish him jail time.

Forgiveness without repentance is like gratitude without a gift.

Re: Guilty of Unprincipled Forgiveness or Model Christian?

Jul. 18 at 2:59pm | see this comment in context

(Part I)

As Jesus noted, "Only God can forgive sins."  What we can do is allow ourselves to understand that others screw up even as we ourselves.  This allows us not to hate the those who hurt us, and not to return evil for evil.  But we can't erase the evil they have done or even make it go away by anything we do. 

In the rush to "forgive," are we really trying to get quickly out of the sliming that we have suffered?  We want it to be over so we tell ourselves that if we "forgive" the act will not have power over us any more.

Last Fall, I was the victim of a sexual assault.  My response in the immediate aftermath of the assault was to pray for my attacker.  I see now that the impulse was rooted in some kind of attempt to take back the power he had taken from me.  I wanted my life back before I became paranoid about young black men, and being alone on street corners.  Praying for my attacker was a way of acting like I had moved beyond the assault....even though I could not really do that.

Re: What The Hunger Games miss

Apr. 22 at 5:42pm | see this comment in context

Freckles -

You missed my point and went to dastardly places in a vicious manner.  

I am sorry if I was too harsh.  I was mainly defending my friend from what seems to me a much more vicious and dastardly insinuation of racism.  Or, if not racism, than of being too stupid to not realize that she was saying things that might sound like racism.

I will say nothing more but congratulations, you verbally eviscerated a Catholic mother 

Oh dear.....  I will say nothiing more except:   Is it worse when the person is a mother?

Re: What The Hunger Games miss

Apr. 22 at 3:23pm | see this comment in context

Did I say "Feckles"?  So sorry. I think the evil in me wanted "Feckless."

Re: What The Hunger Games miss

Apr. 22 at 3:22pm | see this comment in context

Feckles - I didn't say your particular comment was idiotic, however, if pressed I might have to conclude that the insinuations that underlie it are.  Even asking a question like that throws into the mix that Katie is operating from some kind of racial bigotry.  I hate that we can't even muse anymore without having to be constantly aware that somewhere someone might take offense at the implications of the reductio ad absurdum of some comment that wasn't the whole point any way.  There is no more benefit of the doubt left here.  The fact that Katie isn't sending money and secret support to white-robed supremicist groups should be obvious.  Why even introduce the suggestion of racist statements when you have all the evidence you need that the person is not actually racist?

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