Joined: Aug. 30, 2012
Aug. 30 at 1:39pm | see this comment in context
Aug. 30 at 12:33pm | see this comment in context
Katie, I'm glad we're talking about this. It has been a non-issue in my own marriage--I mean it just never comes up. But I'm wondering if I'm missing something.
If I wanted to participate in an activity that my husband thought would take away from my duties, he would tell me what he thought, and I'd tell him how important it was to me, and we'd come to an agreement. The exact same thing would happen if he wanted to participate in an activity that I thought would take away from his duties. Both of us would ask the other before making a decision that affected the whole family. It's a matter of submission on both sides, but not of obedience.
But it occurs to me that this may not be enough. St. Paul makes it clear that married couples are supposed to be living symbols of the relationship between Christ and the Church. When I ask myself if our relationship is doing that, I have a sort of vague sense that it is, but I can't put my finger on specifics. This vagueness seems to indicate a failure. Shouldn't a living symbol be crystal-clear and radical?
Katie,
That's very helpful! What was disturbing me was that the way I understand and live Christian marriage doesn't reflect the hierachical nature of the cosmos (that sounds a bit silly when I put it that way, but there it is). But I see that although the cosmos is indeed hierarchical, everything is unified in the Incarnation...and it's specifically the relationship between Christ and the Church (and not, for example, more generally between God and man) that marriage is supposed to symbolize.
Abby (sorry, I meant to sign my name last time)