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Anamaria Scaperlanda Biddick

Joined: Jul. 18, 2013

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Re: 8 Reminders for fathers of marriageable daughters

Jul. 18 at 5:13pm | see this comment in context

Thank you for this post!  Yes, an adult daughter should decide for herself, and she can ask her parents their perspective if it is desired (and, if her parents are wise, it often is).  

I am wondering if there is some mark of respect in talking with the parents beforehand, because of tradition.  My husband talked to both of my parents (actually my mom first), even though he knew a. he had their implicit permission- they'd been wondering why we weren't engaged for about a month, even though we only dated about 4 months- and b. it was ultimately our decision, not theirs.  I think both of my parents appreciated that, even though they also know it was my decision.  We had also discussed getting married many, many times before he actually asked.  I understand where the tradition comes from, but maybe we can still respect our parents in that (though, as parents, not expect it)?  A lot of wedding customs, such as the dad walking the bride down the aisle but the groom walking up alone are from the same ideas- but our solution was for my groom to walk up with his mother rather than buck tradition.

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