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JenB

Joined: Aug. 22, 2013

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Re: Dr. Allender on abuse and recovery

Aug. 23 at 2:13pm | see this comment in context

Yes, me too. I mean, that has really sunk into me since I watched the video yesterday. For instance-and there are many from many women-I was told my cleavage was a problem for "someone". I know what I look like. It has been a life long struggle with the "girls". I work very hard to be modest. I've been in Church ministry for 20 years. I get it. But at some point, I am not responsible for a man's lust. I am responsible to not be a stumbling block, but his thoughtlife is not my responsibility anymore. How we dress ourselves, how we look at ourselves-how I am at work, I have noticed is all about how a man has set up the workplace. Project oriented. Results oriented. Even in Church ministry. A need? Yes. But what about people oriented? What about person centered and nurturing?

I will be fascinated to see and hope more work will be done in this area. I see wonderful "new Feminist" trend and with TOB and PFrancis I have great hope.

Re: Dr. Allender on abuse and recovery

Aug. 22 at 4:14pm | see this comment in context

WOW! Wow, I signed up just so I could comment on this video. Wow, profound and beautiful. So much to absorb.

What I most personally responded to was that of female sexuality and how it has been dictated by men and the male view of sexuality. I can't even begin to tell you how glad I was to hear him say that. Things like "modesty" in the Catholic church are seen as a women's problem. If only women would dress better, I wouldn't sin. Modesty is a man and women's issues to deal with. The words he said were powerful. I have never heard someone discuss it so wonderfully and plainly. I don't think we can separate ourselves from those who are more overly abused because our gender is so deep to who we are that any demeaning of who we are as men or women is abuse. Thank you for posting. I hope more comments come. Important topic.

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