Amazon.com Widgets

Mudpie

Joined: Apr. 22, 2014

Bio:

I’m a homeschooling mom of two. I’m married to a teacher. I sing both eastern and western chant. I think that makes me some kind of bi-ritual singer or cantor, if there can be such a thing. My education is a B.A in Music. I’m shy to post anything personal on the web. Putting this bio up is quite a step for me, even though its anonymous. I’ve become interested in Christian personalism, though I have no background in philosophy- this seems like the very best place on the web to learn about it. 


Most recent posts by Mudpie:     (See all of them)


No posts yet


Latest comments by Mudpie:     (See all of them)


Re: "Boxing" Others

May. 5 at 9:42pm | see this comment in context

Thanks for the reply, and especially for the suggested reading! I will look that up! I'm interested in learning more about this idea you present about not "boxing others in return" and how not doing so is an act of love. that makes the whole experience feel like it could be turned into something good and positive. I'm wondering what boxing others in return looks like...would it be shutting down, shutting off, as I am tempted to do, or thinking "oh, they are all the same, no one will try to understand..." ? Or- "Oh, that guy, he's such a mean jerk.." oooohhh...now I have lots to think about!

Re: "Boxing" Others

Apr. 29 at 12:27pm | see this comment in context

Eventually, after many many experiences like this, the unspoken message gets through to you loud and clear- "You aren't as good as us, so don't you dare try to tell us what you think- you silly!" The pain of rejection can be quite intense, especially with good, Christian people, where you tend to assume a right to respect, and thus leave yourself unprotected more often.  Eventually, you learn how to keep quiet, even though you are pretty sure that you have some really valuable things to contribute that could change lives for the better or simply be interesting for another human being to ponder. You think you might be intelligent and accomplished, but your gifts are rendered completely useless by others who cannot see you, cannot hear you. Slowly your enthusiasm begins to die a natural death, and you get on with the business of living your life as best you can while always feeling at odds with the rest of humanity. It sounds like a pity party- but what I really intend is to try to communicate honestly. I like honesty, and beautiful kind spirits are growing in this little "web garden" who can hear other hurting souls.

Re: "Boxing" Others

Apr. 29 at 12:25pm | see this comment in context

And  I have a suspicion that everybody has been there to some extent or another, whether diagnosed or not.. You find yourself in a group of friends or acquaintances, at church maybe. That's where it usually happens for me, at least. Anyway, they are people you really admire and like, good people, involved in some common belief or purpose. You are listening to the exchange of ideas flowing back and forth, and because the topic interests you and some part of you still wishes to be a part of "the flock," you venture to share your ideas. You are hoping that your thoughts will be appreciated and respected, but instead everything you say falls on deaf ears, as people turn away, disguise their impatience (and sometimes outright disgust) with you- or simply ignore you. You have a vague awareness that something isn't getting through- people can't hear what you are really saying. Your ideas are drowned in your own off-putting behavior. You feel badly that you are unable to hide your more unsightly qualities in the same way that other people are able to do so effortlessly. There it is, all your uglier psychological parts sticking out there- forall to see and evaluate and ultimately reject.

Re: "Boxing" Others

Apr. 29 at 12:10pm | see this comment in context

Thank you for this article. Especially this part: "Many are the people who have been falsely accused of character-flaws, when they were in reality ill: the paranoia which can come with the early onset of Alzheimer, the strange behavior stemming from a yet undiagnosed brain-tumor, the socially jarring interaction with an undiagnosed autistic person, or simply the seeming laziness and selfishness of a person suffering from chronic fatigue, are wrongly held against them.  Motivations and evil intentions are ascribed to them, when the reason for their behavior is completely other. Now these are “merely” illnesses, which, once diagnosed, help us read the other differently." I think I'd like to try to communicate what being on the receiving end of this "boxing" experience is like:

Re: Are wives supposed to submit to their husbands?

Apr. 25 at 2:18pm | see this comment in context

There aren't enough words allowed to express what I'm trying to say- I am sorry!

Stay informed

Latest comments

  • Re: Cutting ties
  • By: Leonie
  • Re: Is all confusion evil? A Socratic thought.
  • By: Disciplined_Idea
  • Re: What would Newman say about the Synod?
  • By: Freda
  • Re: What would Newman say about the Synod?
  • By: Freda
  • Re: What would Newman say about the Synod?
  • By: Disciplined_Idea
  • Re: What would Newman say about the Synod?
  • By: Katie van Schaijik
  • Re: What would Newman say about the Synod?
  • By: Disciplined_Idea
  • Re: What would Newman say about the Synod?
  • By: Katie van Schaijik
  • Re: What would Newman say about the Synod?
  • By: Disciplined_Idea
  • Re: What would Newman say about the Synod?
  • By: Katie van Schaijik

Latest active posts

Reading circles

Lectures