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Devra Torres

Papa Francisco

Mar. 14, 2013, at 4:04pm

Habemus Papam!

He’s a conservative, but a Jesuit who has compassion on single mothers, and kisses the feet of AIDS patients.

 No, wait, he’s a liberal, but he says the idea of “gay marriage” is “a machination of the Father of Lies” and outspokenly defends the right to life even of babies conceived in rape. 

Well, but he’s a conservative—but the son of an immigrant railway worker who eschews the episcopal palace for a small apartment, rides the bus,

and cooks his own meals. 

Or maybe he’s a liberal—but he puts a premium on doctrinal orthodoxy.  And a 76-year-old man with a single lung who radiates peace and strength.

Oh, never mind.

We all understand that the labels “conservative” and

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