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Devra Torres

Anti-Spontaneity

Nov. 2, 2012, at 2:01am

Last week, we considered the uses and abuses of spontaneity.  But what about the opposite extreme?

According to legend, my grandfather was once discovered to have penned the reminder “Kiss Thelma” on his to-do list.

Thelma was his wife.

This is as good an illustration as any that Grandpa Lenny was not a spontaneous man. 

Now, it’s true, as Jacques Philippe points out, that steady, proven faithfulness, year in and year out, is a far more convincing proof of love than sporadic bursts of passionate affection alternating with stretches of neglect.  But what to make of such, well, extremely steady steadiness as my grandfather’s?

Did he love his wife?  Yes, of course he did.  They stayed

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Devra Torres

In Praise of Spontaneity, Under Certain Conditions

Oct. 25, 2012, at 12:53am

For a long time, I labored under the illusion that spontaneity, especially as practiced by me, was a charming thing.  This misconception has been slowly, and I do mean slowly, draining away over the past couple of decades.

One early intimation that something was amiss came when my husband and I were newlyweds moving to a different apartment.  He seemed distinctly uncharmed by the large quantity of boxes I had packed up and helpfully labeled “MISCELLANEOUS.”

 I was mystified.  What did he want: a boring, regimental, conformist wife?

(Now that I have eight children who take after me, his perspective is much less baffling.)

I’ve been reading Time for God by Fr. Jacques Philippe again,

and

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